Brett’s normal results….

Brett’s doing  great in Home School. He is Reading really well, it’s amazing how much he has progressed just over the last few weeks. I think he may have been holding back, knowing he was passing Brynnon up. They had company come over for the whole weekend to play and stay the night. It was great for Brynn and Brett to have so much fun playing and being boys.  Brynn has been more tired than usual this past week. I started logging every tonic, tonic clonic or partial seizure 30+ seconds I see on his iPad. He had 19 in 30 days. The Zonegran has made an impact on lessoning them… how long they last and improving or eliminating the postictal period too. His Neurologist mentioned when I reported the last increase in seizures that we still had room to go up on the Zonegran. Think I will put a call in if he continues this trend as it seems like an awfully short “honeymoon phase” with this new medicine.
I spent a lot of time over the last several days reflecting on our past, present and future. Much of my thoughts drift to MS and what was. Amazingly, in MS we had the love and support of so many people who were not family. They took the place of family each one in a very special loving way. Here we have more family, but we have failed to really establish long term constant relationships. So at a point in our journey where we need the most love, support and help… we are alone with the exception of very few. We have wonderful Cajun neighbors, one whom the children affectionately call Gan Gan. She has done so much for us and been so supportive. I pray that our Father will bless her for being such a blessing in our lives. Unfortunately, I have had a family member say about Brynn… “I have talked to him and seen him and there is nothing wrong that that boy” among other things that just are not worth repeating. I have had to fight every step of the way, and finally get some answers, only to realize that it doesn’t matter. People have these preconceived ideas about what intellectual disability looks like and obviously Brynn does not fit. I have always avoided asking for help and never expected it. It does not sting any less to see that most people not only will not help in any way, but cause drama to induce more stress. None of us deserved what the last several years have given us, much less people kicking us around while we are already suffering.  Speaking of being kicked around… To that person who sits contemplating and joking about how to hurt us, gossips & creates drama for fun… You better pray and pray hard… because my Father, the Creator of the universe knows and sees all, He does not sleep.

So… I got Brett’s results, his 30 minute awake EEG was normal. Pediatrician said she will not order anymore test. I said but he did not fall asleep and a EEG can not be considered complete without sleep. She said it does not matter, maybe he is faking. Faking? Yes, she says she had an 8 year old Niece who faked seizures… I said it happens while he is sleeping. How can you fake a seizure out of a dead sleep? She says, yeah about that… No one has seizures only while sleeping. I said Brynn did, in the first two years there were ONLY seizures while sleeping… then he started having them while awake. Brynnon had the same events as Brett is having for years while sleeping, before and after his first known Tonic Clonic. The doctors I asked said it was night terrors. She said Brynn is different. I said, so basically your telling me that I am supposed to watch this happen until, God forbid, he has a potentially dangerous tonic clonic. She said I am sorry there is nothing else that can be done… Medicaid is not going to pay for another test. I said Medicaid? I don’t have Medicaid, I have private insurance. Well they will not cover another test either. There is nothing to be done and no reason to investigate this further. Hmmm… Is it really different because Brynnon is Developmentally Disabled? How does his Cognitive Disorder mean that he is so abnormal that it is accepted that he had his in sleep only initially, but Brett cannot because he is normal functioning? What good is a 30 minute awake EEG on a child that has suspected seizures while sleeping anyway? Brett is normal functioning, he is reading on level and obviously is not having any cognitive effects. I will continue to watch Brett and ask Brynn’s Neurologist at Children’s about it in March when we go back to talk about more options for Brynn.  Seems nothing can be easy… but that’s okay, the longer it takes and the harder you work for it… the more you appreciate it anyway!!! ~Denise


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